I Want To See Your Charity

You’ve probably seen it somewhere in the comments of a YouTube video where someone is doing a good deed: some variation of, “If you actually wanted to help, you wouldn’t have made a video about it; you just want attention.”

“You can tell I’m a good person because I judge everyone else for the way they do good things.” (Source)

This shows up in all sorts of sayings, like the one that goes, “Good deeds should be done with intention, not for attention.” There are even a few Bible verses on it, like the first few of Matthew 6. There’s even one that says that a good deed dies when it is spoken about. That is, if you really want to be charitable, and if you want to prove that you’re doing it for the sake of others and not to draw attention to yourself to be lauded for it, you’ll do it quietly.

Which is all really quite stupid. Continue reading “I Want To See Your Charity”


How’s School Going, Anyway?

This is only really here so I can show off a second picture of my school’s library.

One of the reasons I update less frequently than I used to is because going to school full time has me as about as busy as it’s possible to be. Another reason is that I’m secretly boring and running out of ideas, but at least with school I have something to talk about.

This is my fourth semester, and while it’s been stressful, it’s been a wonderful experience. For those not in the know, this is my second attempt at college. My first try was in 2007 after I graduated high school, and I don’t remember how that went. I quite literally don’t remember anything that happened between roughly mid-2007 to late 2009, so something tells me it didn’t go very well. My transcripts also back that up. But this time it’s a new school obnoxiously far from home with a new major and new goals, and I feel like now that I’m going completely of my own volition and doing what I’m interested in, I’m much more equipped to deal with it. Continue reading “How’s School Going, Anyway?”

In Which I Try To Convince Myself That Going Back To School Is A Good Idea

If you would have asked me in the beginning of the year if I ever planned on going back to school, probably would have given you an emphatic “no.” I’d given the whole college thing a shot already, and to say my experience was awful would be a comical understatement. Sure, if a degree magically popped into my hand I would take it, but I didn’t want to go through all that again.

But here I am, enrolled in school and classes and everything. Over the past few months I went from dreading the subject to getting quite excited about it. It feels nice to be looking into finishing what I started. Plus I can finally apply for most of those jobs I really, really want. Continue reading “In Which I Try To Convince Myself That Going Back To School Is A Good Idea”

I Don’t Understand Pessimism

This is why Pessimistic was never promoted to captain. He never even tried. Enjoy your eternal reign as petty officer third class, Pessimistic Man.
This is why Pessimistic Man was never promoted to captain. He never even tried. Enjoy your eternal reign as petty officer third class, Pessimistic Man.

I know a lot of pessimists. (They like to call themselves ‘cynical,’ but that’s just an excuse.) I’m a cynical person but I’m still an optimist. I have to admit that I have a hard time understanding pessimism. As adept as I am at putting myself in other people’s shoes to see life from their point of view, it’s strange to me that people can have such a negative outlook on life as a whole.

Sure, you can say that if you’re a pessimist you can never be unpleasantly surprised, or that it prevents you from being hurt because if anything had happens, hey, you already expected it. But in doing a cost/benefit analysis of sorts, does that really outweigh the negative aspects of looking at everything for its worst possible outcome? Continue reading “I Don’t Understand Pessimism”

I Don’t Understand Food Rules

See? See?! Why is this even necessary?!
See? See?! Why is this even necessary?!

For my mother’s birthday we went out to a place called BJ’s, where the portions are unnecessarily large and the food ridiculously good. As we stared down at the plethora of utensils that came in our napkins, the conversation inevitably turned to proper placement and use of the forks, knives and spoons. In this particular case we only had two forks and a knife, since any other necessary utensils came with the food, but I was reminded of the weird rules we humans have when it comes to table settings.

You have to use this fork for this, and that fork for that. You have three different spoons, they’re all used for different things, and even though they’re all just slightly different in size, they have very specific purposes. When you set the table, the utensils have to be placed in a certain order. Certain plates on top of other plates. Cut with one hand, eat with the other. Don’t use your fingers, it’s not polite. Continue reading “I Don’t Understand Food Rules”

Oh, Yuck. Other People.

As an introvert, I feel like there may be some sort of bias when I say that I don’t like people and I want them all to go away and I want to live in a world where I’m not forced to interact with others. People can be real buttheads sometimes. But I don’t think I’ll ever get that world, so I deal with people in the best way I know how: in severe moderation.

I think another acceptable lesson might be, 'How to do everything yourself at the last minute because no one did their part and oh my god I'm panicking.'
I think another acceptable lesson might be, ‘How to do everything yourself at the last minute because no one did their part and it’s due in like 12 hours and oh my god I’m panicking.’

I came across this image, and I thought it described the fun of group projects quite adequately. Most of us will probably remember group projects from school in a rather negative way, especially if your groups were chosen for you. If you got to choose your own, at least you could pick people who you knew would do a better job than Lazy McClassDitcherson. (I suck at names shut up.) But when your teacher chose your groups, you sat awkwardly at the table with people you didn’t know, silently judging most of them. That guy is the class clown, he can’t possibly be very bright. This girl never does her work. That one smells funny. Clearly I am the smartest person at the table. Continue reading “Oh, Yuck. Other People.”

Coming Back From (Almost) Death

time_by_danielkoeker-d56ir9dI suppose it was a good thing that there weren’t any working guns in the house. Had there been, I’m pretty sure that would have been it for me. They were the first things I thought of when I started to realize that I wanted to die, but I didn’t have that option. So I was forced to think of something else. It wasn’t that I wasn’t determined, but I was scared of feeling pain. It was all or nothing. If I failed, not only would I still be alive, but my life would be worse. Everything would change, everyone would try to “help.” That was the last thing I wanted.

I’ll spare all the details about the plans I finally came up with. All I knew is that as soon as I had it locked in my mind that I was going to do it, everything got better. I felt cheerful. I had no more worries. Everything was going to be just fine. I went out with friends, I had a great time and people noticed how much better I was feeling. I couldn’t tell them why. I assumed that would kill the mood. No pun intended. Continue reading “Coming Back From (Almost) Death”