If you would have asked me in the beginning of the year if I ever planned on going back to school, probably would have given you an emphatic “no.” I’d given the whole college thing a shot already, and to say my experience was awful would be a comical understatement. Sure, if a degree magically popped into my hand I would take it, but I didn’t want to go through all that again.
But here I am, enrolled in school and classes and everything. Over the past few months I went from dreading the subject to getting quite excited about it. It feels nice to be looking into finishing what I started. Plus I can finally apply for most of those jobs I really, really want.
I actually really enjoy school supply shopping as well now that I’m an adult and stuff. Sticky notes and special pens and folders and more, it’s pretty great.
This isn’t the say the whole thing isn’t still pretty scary. I’m still coming off from my last disastrous attempt, and I’m worried that certain health issues are going to stand in the way like they did before. Then there’s the financial aid thing, and the prospect of student loans is a little frightening. Well, much more than a little.
With the difficulty I’ve had getting in, I have to admit that I’ve felt like quitting on more than one occasion. I need things to go well this time, and for that i need to be confident that they will — and my setbacks have made me anything but confident. I’ve heard horror stories about how I’ll be paying back loans until I’m 60, how my degree won’t really help get me a job, how it will be wasted effort and I’ll be worse off than I started. Not like I believe the whole process is sunshine and rainbows, but I didn’t picture my future being quite so bleak.
But I’m still excited, and I still think this is a good choice for me. I can get a degree in a subject I love (communication), I can pick from all sorts of jobs that it will open up to me, I’ll be going with my best friend so we can keep each other grounded and motivated, and I’m ready to do well. This time it’ll be done right.
This might sound a unrealistically optimistic, but I’d rather feel positive than negative. This is a big thing I’m trying to do for myself, and despite all the scary stories I’ve heard and issues that could come up, I think I can handle it this time.
…seriously, school supplies are great.