An Open Letter To My Characters

Dear Lovely Characters of Mine,

It’s about time we had another chat. No, you aren’t in trouble, but it’s been a while. I have very little time to write, so I don’t get to spend as much time with you as I usually do. That saddens me as I’m sure it saddens you. Though you should know that I’m working hard to fix that. If I get some time off work, you’ll be the first people I hang out with (much to the chagrin of those in my life who actually exist, to be sure [also, no offense]).

Beth is quite a force to be reckoned with. She's extremely short-tempered, though that may be due to constant exposure to David.

Beth is quite a force to be reckoned with. She’s extremely short-tempered, though that may be due to constant exposure to David.

But there are so many of you. How will I spend time with all of you? Pretty much all of you deserve equal attention! You’re pretty fantastic. (Not to toot my own horn, but I’m quite proud of what the ol’ noggin came up with when it comes to you lot.) What to work on first?

To the cast of the Worlds series, I’ll get back to you eventually. I know, you starred in the first book I ever finished, and then I started other series. I wrote a second book, then a third, then a fourth, and all the while I only managed three chapters to your sequel. But I’ve been thinking about you all lately. And hey, David gets a cameo in every book I ever write, so that’s something. Free publicity! That’s good for you, right? Also, you might be getting new cover art. That’s also cool.

To Kay, Ali, et all from Petals of Intrigue, I’m sorry, but there was just one book for you. That said, for a book written in just two weeks, you guys did really well. Also, I’m not sure if this will flatter you or weird you out, but I got some seriously creepy fan mail about you guys. This is about when I learned what ‘shipping’ was, and oh my lord you do not want to know how some of you ended up. That and some people went into extreme detail about the things they made you guys do together. Considering you guys are like my kids, it was seriously bizarre. For your own benefit, don’t ask for more details. Uhm. Moving on.

The sadistic child prodigy herself. She may look cute, but she's actually... okay, she really is cute.

The sadistic child prodigy Kwin herself. She may look cute, but she’s actually… okay, she really is cute.

The Dream Sanctum lot, you guys are the stars of the show. Kwin! What can I say about you. You’re famous. Everyone loves you. In every single poll ever taken you are the favorite character. Overall, such a diverse cast. And I’ve been spending a lot of time with you lately. That said, I’m still having a hard time getting over what you all did in book two. I’ve never had so much trouble writing a book in my life. Why did you make everything so difficult? This is a book about a bunch of incredibly imaginative people!

Where were you when I needed help closing plot holes? Oh sure, be all clever and creative when things are fine, but are you seriously telling me that all you guys got writers block at the same time I did? Something goes wrong and you’re nowhere to be found. I’m going to cause you lots of problems in book three for this. I have ideas cooking. And yes I’m aware book two isn’t published yet, but it’s coming.

But seriously, I love all you guys. Through the good and the bad I’ve always liked… most of you. Even when I don’t want to write, I still think about you and appreciate you. That said, I could use a lot more help. If I’m not around and you guys want to do some planning, feel free. It’s hard to do this all on my own, you know. I don’t mean to keep putting Kwin in the Spotlight of Awesome, but look what she did. She did all that herself, I didn’t plan that at all. So help me out here. Writing is hard work. Don’t just be moochers.

Also, just so you guys know, when I come over, I’m bringing with me a bunch of new characters. I started three new books in the meantime, so there’s a big cast. And in some cases, literally. Styx is about twelve feet tall, so we’ll have to let him in through the back door. Also there are a number of ghosts. They may invade your privacy and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Now, I’ve never had all of you together in the same room before. We’ve got ghosts, half robots, elves, magicians, shapeshifters, an evil bird with no name, ninja children, a ten-year-old prodigy, a magical angry fisherman, a time traveler and a girl with cat ears. This can either go really, really well, or really, really badly.

And for crying out loud, keep the crossovers to a minimum. The last thing we need is for all these worlds to combine because I know some of you would abuse it.

Love you guys
Kay S.

(All artwork from my lovely friend and cover artist Anne Teensma)


Comments (26)

Kwin (The Dream Sanctum)
Don’t get upset with me for not helping you with your writer’s block. You’re the one that made me literally incapable of doing anything for the vast majority of both books. Come to think of it, for someone who claims to like me the most, you mistreat me a lot. I’m not pleased.

Beth (Worlds)
One minor problem with this post. You said that David gives us free publicity by appearing everywhere. You forgot to mention that he’s a complete idiot. That’s not the publicity I want, thanks.

David (Worlds)
Are you jealous? (I think you’re jealous.)

Beth (Worlds)
Yep, you got me. I just want to be like you.

Isabelle (Worlds)
I have a question! When we all get together to hang out, does that include the bad guys and all the characters that have died? I mean, considering some of us have killed others, that’s going to be kind of awkward…

Kwin (The Dream Sanctum)
I heard about what you did. At first I wasn’t sure about how you’d pan out as a character, but as a murderer I think you’re just fine. I think we’ll get along splendidly.

Isabelle (Worlds)
It wasn’t for fun! I don’t like killing people.

Kwin (The Dream Sanctum)
Oh. My mistake. I’m sure we’ll still get along decently.

Aidan (Petals of Intrigue)
Hi, quick question. Why did you give me a name everyone hates?

Kay S. (Author)
I swear I didn’t know when I chose it. I’m so sorry.

Ali (Petals of Intrigue)
Don’t apologize. Nobody likes him.

Aidan (Petals of Intrigue)
I
don’t even like me. Look what she did to me.

David (Worlds)
User was banned for this comment.

Beth (Worlds)
I’m not surprised.

Lindsay (The Dream Sanctum)
What did he say?!

Lindsay (Worlds)
I don’t know, but I like your name. Let’s hang out!

Alastor (The Dream Sanctum)
Oh god there are two of them.

Lindsay (Worlds)
Shut up.

Lindsay (The Dream Sanctum)
Shut up.

Kai (The Dream Sanctum)
They’ve already become as one. This is going to be extremely weird.

Styx (Ghost Walk)
Can I bring my boat? I like my boat.

Kay S. (Author)
No you cannot bring your boat.

Saber (Ghost Walk)
Please let him bring his boat? I like his boat too.

Kay S. (Author)
NO BOATS. THERE IS NO ROOM FOR YOUR BOAT.

Isabelle (Worlds)
Where would you put a boat? o.o There’s no water around here…

Styx (Ghost Walk)
I like my boat.

Advertisements

10 thoughts on “An Open Letter To My Characters

  1. All I can think is “Dear Chiad, I’m sorry I haven’t spent as much time as I should’ve with you. I mean Acilrend is just awesome and Alastor is so twisted it’s wonderful! and you were my first!!” Or something like that. That was very entertaining and thanks for your ever giggle-worthy posts.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s